“The Georgia Department of Public Health posted a bar chart that appeared to show that new confirmed cases had dropped each day over two weeks. Good news, until it turned out that chart put the days in the wrong order. The Georgia Department of Public Health is just a little confused. It explains their sign, ‘Put a mask on your elbow and cough directly into the face.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, we know Georgia did this because they left the dates on the chart. Apparently, in the Peach State, the calendar goes April 30, May 4, May 6, May 5, May 2, May 7, and then April 26. Come on, Georgia. At least try to hide the lie. When your parents come home to a house full of teenagers and alcohol, you don’t say, ‘No, I didn’t have a party while you were gone. My party is scheduled for next Friday, which, as you know, here in Georgia, was last Tuesday — and I have coronavirus.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But take it from me, Georgia: cheating only hurts you in the long run. Yeah. When I was in school, I forged straight A’s on my biology report card instead of studying, and to this day, I still don’t know where my labia is.” — TREVOR NOAH
Karen Chee, a writer with “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” shares how she’s celebrating Asian and Pacific Islander American Heritage Month by doing things like being “grateful” to a man who tells her to “go back to Korea” — since, she notes, South Korea has controlled the coronavirus epidemic.